What Does a Balance Life Look Like?
Living a balanced life? For some, that thought just doesn’t compute. Too much going on at work, too many alligators to wrestle and too many items on my to-do list! Who has time for exercise, kids, spouse, eating well, the community, and a spiritual life, when all I can do is keep up with work? You’ve got to be kidding!
That was my life many years ago. I clearly remember being at an entrepreneurship leadership conference around 1999 in Chicago, and as we went around the room, we had to introduce ourselves and say something about what we did. I remember boasting that I owned a small engineering company and was busy and had been working on an average 65 hours per week for the last few years. I was proud of the fact that I was a hard-ass working man—until a man sitting at the adjacent table described his company (ten times bigger than mine at the time) and made a point to look at me and say that he built and managed it in 40 hours a week.
He was implying that it is not how much you work, but how smart you work that counts. Needless to say, my chest deflated quite rapidly; he taught me a lesson that day.
In one of my training conferences, I show the participants three equal circles touching each other, labeled with the words work, family and self. I ask them to think about their lives and to draw the relationship of their circles with each other. Ninety percent of the participants draw their work circle three times the size of their family circle, with the self circle being very small; some don’t even show a self circle!
We have created a culture where success is measured by your output at work and not by the happiness of your spousal relationship, or how your kids are being nurtured and whether you are taking care of yourself. We have sacrificed family and self for the corporate ladder to find out, most of the time way too late, that it was not worth it.
In no way am I advocating living in a world of mediocrity or wasting God-given talents; I am strongly suggesting that a balanced life is possible if we understand and accept the importance of the concept. I am not naive to believe that we can just turn an on-off switch at will, but like everything that is worth it in life; you have to work at it. At times, integrating the three circles works really well; the idea is to be conscious of that fact.
I will attempt to share personal experiences and thoughts about the concepts of self, family and work. I will first outline the essentials for the self and will dive into more details in the next blog, followed by family and work.
SELF:
Mind, Body, Soul, Community
Mind: This concept involves keeping the mind sharp, staying on top of trends and understanding politics both local and national, including understanding culture, the difference between the boomers, gen x and millennial, reading interesting books, exhibiting intellectual curiosity about nature and the environment, watching sports, appreciating the arts, and staying on top of the news, the economy, the world … and so much more.
Body: It is your temple, and you should take care of it. Exercise regularly, stay fit, stay in shape, participate in sporting events, races, and triathlons. Eat organics, subscribe to the farm-to-table concept, go to the farmer’s market, and lower your cholesterol and your blood pressure. Have regular physical check-ups, drink in moderation—in fact, do everything in moderation.
Soul: Are you connected to a higher power? Take time to pray, to meditate, to connect with your inner being. I am a Christian, I do a morning devotional as part of my spiritual growth, and it is my private time with my God. Recognizing that there is a command to do and be good in this world helps us to understand our purpose in this world.
Community: At the end of the day, we are all part of something bigger, and we have a duty to give back. Get involved with your church, the boy scout troop, the soccer team, the community kitchen, the many non-profits in need of volunteers. Serve on these boards, contribute your time, talent and treasure. There is more pleasure in giving than receiving!